100 Characters For 100 Otaku (Part Thirteen: 40-36)

The thirteenth post in “100 Characters For 100 Otaku.”

The “100 Characters For 100 Otaku” series continues! You know, it’s almost easy to forget that this post series is still a part of the larger “Don’t Fuck This Up” post series. I’m definitely putting my effort into trying not to fuck up, so be sure to call me out at every potential problem, and I’ll edit it right up! Meanwhile, today we have numbers 40 down through 36. Let’s see what they are made of!

40. Asuka Langley Soryu (from Neon Genesis Evangelion)

Why I Like Her: Asuka is probably one of the most masturbated-too characters in the history of anime. She can’t even make it through her own show without someone jerking off at her bedside! So maybe she deserves to be just a little pissed-off, but maybe she’s only so mad because she hasn’t grown up yet. Or is it that she knows how to be grown up, but doesn’t want to? Maybe she’s just pissed because Shinji won’t grow up. If he were an adult, he’d probably understand her advances. And Asuka just wants to be understood!

A Mirror For Otaku: Asuka has quite the iron will. It doesn’t matter if she’s right or wrong – if she’s right, she thinks you suck for not being as right as her. If she’s wrong, she’s pissed off at you for being wrong. Either way, you’re pretty much fucked. But hey, at least the former puts her in a good mood! Until you concede to your wrongness like a pussy, then the fight feels like it was worthless….

Reflecting My Otakudom: Asuka knows she’s good at what she does, and she wants to flaunt it. It bothers her when no one else wants to. Rei is amazing, but she won’t brag about it. Is she calling me childish for bragging? Does she think she’s above me? What a bitch. Cunt. Fucker.

The First Episode of Crest of the Stars: Because Asuka is from Neon Genesis Evangelion, I can get away with making her section really needlessly complex and silly. Likewise, because I have to compare the characters to ep 1 of CoTS 100 times, I get more leeway in the section’s treatment.

39. Rimone (from Simoun)

Why I Like Her: Rimone is one of the most human loli characters I’ve ever seen in anime. She says things like ‘I don’t want to do that, and I won’t.’ You just don’t see much of that in little anime girls. Rimone is a really misplaced genius – She’s been forced into a lot of things in spite of her fear or unwillingness to perform. It takes a certain older woman to finally understand Rimone and unlock her true potential, leading to one of the most awesome implied huge-age-gap relationships in anime. She’s still cute even when she grows up. My favorite Mimiko Noto performance.

A Mirror For Otaku: Rimone is addicted to potato chips. Rimone has been considered a prodigy in piloting, in spite of being very young. Many otaku have experienced a childhood of being put above other people in terms of intelligence by those around them (as the latest otaku diaries post proves) and like Rimone, not all of them must have necessarily wanted to be put up there.

Reflecting My Otakudom: …I certainly didn’t want to. I was put in a ‘gifted school’ in my elementary years, and that was the worst experience of my young life, which may have essentially lead me down the path I went. I guess the only good part is that the path eventually made me an otaku (is that good?!)

The First Episode of Crest of the Stars: Seeing as I’ve already done blue hair, child prodigies, and great pilots, I guess I’ll have to point out that Jinto was a kid when the first episode’s events happened, and he doesn’t seem to be a dumb kid, to put it simply.

38. Kuonji Ukyo (from Ranma 1/2)

Why I Like Her: The third of mai waifus appears! In accordance with what is now tradition, I quote that post: “Ukyo is an extremely passionate chef and fighter with headstrong goals that take precedence over everything else in her life. However, as Ukyo is able to show us in her time with Ranma, she treats relationships a little more firmly. Ukyo is openly in love with and engaged to Ranma, and shows us what kind of wife she would be. Ukyo is the type who doesn’t mind if she ends up being the provider for her household – she just wants to do what she loves, regardless of living conditions. Her fantasy is actually to just run her okonomiyaki stand on the road with Ranma, and I have to say, I can’t think of a fantasy I’d rather be a part of!”

A Mirror For Otaku: Ukyo isn’t just obsessed with being the best okonomiyaki chef – she is consumed by it. There is an arc in Ranma where Ukyo tries to quit making okonomiyaki, and finds that her everyday activities are constantly impeded by the tendencies she’s built up from being a chef. Cooking not only makes her happy, but she just can’t stop – much like otaku can’t stop being what they are.

Reflecting My Otakudom: Ukyo doesn’t just love the way her uncanny obsession makes her feel, but it gives her a sense of accomplishment. All of her cooking is not just for fun, but also to eventually make her the best okonomiyaki chef there is. This can be compared to my anime blogging, wherein I’m not just addicted to it, but also want to become highly regarded for it.

The First Episode of Crest of the Stars: The Abh are said to be hyper-advanced and intelligent. I wonder if that skill and knowledge applies to cooking as well. I want to see the genius Abh chef with her giant okonomiyaki spatula!

Sorry 00 fans, the guy on the right

Sorry 00 fans, the guy on the right

37. Graham Specter (from Baccano! the OVA)

Why I Like Him: “And now, we must have a fun and sad talk. Fun, the opposite of sad. In other words, heaven and hell – love and peace. LOVE AND PEACE!!!” (somehow this speech is not on youtube, so you must settle for this fight.) Aside from being the most awesome Tomokazu Sugita role, Graham is made of win because he is an insane killing machine who is a blast to watch, not unlike most of Baccano!’s cast. He’s some of the most fun to be had, too, because he gives great speeches and wields a fucking huge wrench with which he dismantles cars in mid-air.

A Mirror For Otaku: The things that Graham does and says make little sense to the people around him. Otaku, too, have an obsession with something that most people just don’t get, and speak a language intricate with many strange terms and phrases alien to most of the world. Like ‘otaku.’

Reflecting My Otakudom: Graham Specter is obsessed with dismantling things, which can easily be said about myself with anime. After all, i write tons of reviews and editorials wherein I try to get into the bones of everything I watch.

The First Episode of Crest of the Stars: Graham has blone hair and blue eyes, as is the case with most of the cast of Baccano! This is obviously because of the Japanese stereotype that most Americans have blond hair and blue eyes (which is total BS, I have seen next to no blonde-haired-blue-eyed people in my area). This stereotype about the unified appearance of all people in one race can be applied to the Abh, although they really are all blue-haired and beautiful.

36. EDMOND DANTES (from Gankutsuou)

Why I Like Him: Dude, it’s the (literally) mother fucking Count! I shouldn’t really even have to explain, you should already know if you’ve even seen one episode of Gankutsuou. The Count is a god of charisma – even though you know what he’s up to all series long, you still fall for it. You still love him, and you still feel betrayed when he shows you his true colors. He’s the villain you love and desperately don’t want to hate. Plus he’s played by Jouji motherfucking Nakata, and also has the single greatest dub voice of all time (give this man more roles!).

A Mirror For Otaku: The Count is a very mild-mannered, calm, and cool individual ostensibly, but hides a dark and violent rage with vicious intent. While I can’t say that many otaku are charismatic and cool like the Count, it’s easy to point out that in spite of their politeness in everyday interaction, otaku can turn into evil cunts on the internet. (This was even brilliantly lampshaded in Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, leading to one of it’s most popular lines.)

Reflecting My Otakudom: I am known to be quite the manipulative bastard. I’ll tell you now, I have tricked people into becoming otaku. People who were so sure they could never be one, and now are steadily on the rise thanks to my well-placed introductions and recommendations.

The First Episode of Crest of the Stars: Come on now. The Count has blue hair and elf ears, overpowers opponents, and comes from fucking space. What more do you need?!

There’s 40-36, tune in tomorrow for the next five! We’ve got a gun-crazy broad, a romantic swordsman, and who knows – maybe your favorite character!

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13 thoughts on “100 Characters For 100 Otaku (Part Thirteen: 40-36)

  1. YOU GOTTA HAVE BLUE HAIR. MOTHERFUCKING COUNT OF MOTHERFUCKING MONTE CRISTO!

    Awesome ride despite not liking the art-direction for Gankutsuou, all thanks to the count (collectively including Nakata and Russul).

  2. “Asuka is probably one of the most masturbated-too characters in the history of anime. She can’t even make it through her own show without someone jerking off at her bedside!”

    LOL. I blame the red plugsuit. Well, this effectively means you’re not of the Asuka faction, as Rei and others have yet to pop up…Hmmm…

    • Did you miss what I said way back? There are only 2 Eva characters on this list. Here’s a major hint – I haven’t seen the TV series in over 2 years, but I HAVE seen the movie several times. Only 2 characters really get to do much in the movie, so it’s no surprise they are tthe only 2 on the list.

      As I also said back then, I will likely go back after this list is finished and make additional posts every time I find 5 more characters that ought to be in the list in the future, thus keeping the list pseudo-up-to-date.

      As an additional note, the Eva cast members weren’t the only ones killed off because it’s been too long since I knew them. Shana missed the bus becasue I couldn’t dcide if I loved or hated her after all this time, and three Soul Eater characters were weakened by their lack of current relevance in my mind or memory of why I liked them (Soul, Maka, and Chrono)

  3. Oh yeah, you mentioned you have tricked people into becoming Otaku. Similar story:

    I had a Japanese friend in my college dorm who was terrified of being associated with anime because Japanese otaku are nuts and the Japanese girls revile them. One Saturday night, he was wandering around the hall mega-bored out of his mind as a consequence of not really speaking English, and I suggested he watch Haruhi Suzumiya with me. He was very uncertain about the enjoyment potential of this, but being mega-bored, decided to try it out. He is now an avid Mikuru fan.

    No anime fan has truly fulfilled their purpose in life without converting at least one person to carry the otaku torch.

  4. ASUKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    Why don’t I hate her? I wouldn’t put up with a friend who behaves this way in real life, but characters like her, and Anemone constantly get get-out-of-jail-free cards. Maybe because they’re fappable? But surely there’s got to be some DEEP COMPLEX PHILOSOPHICAL REASON FOR THEIR CHARM.

    • When I first watched Eva, I hated Asuka, cuz I thought she was a bitch. I later learned it was because I had watched the dub, wherein she IS a bitch. In Japanese I realized she was just a girl who really wanted someone to understand her without her having to conform to protocol for understanding someone (sort of like myself in the early blogging days.) I understand that she just wanted to be friends with Shinji, but he couldn’t see it. He could never do anything right, so she was always pissed off waiting for him. Ah, kids.

      Get ready for your daughter to act that way towards you in her preteen years.

  5. After the entry on Asuka, I thought I would have something meaningful to say. But instead, all that’s in my head right now is this:

    Ukyou… ;_;

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