Rewatching Haruhi almost exactly a year after I finished it was an enriching experience. The show is just as amazing as I remember, which also means that it doesn’t hold up to my overblown love for it a year ago, lol, however I’d say the show is pretty timeless since it never gets old (I am a person who cannot STAND to rewatch things unless I absolutely love them, this being the second time I did so for part in addition to reading the first novel.)
What struck me most prominently is how much I can completely relate to Haruhi, which is funny because her unrelatability is what turns a lot of people from the show. However, watching her actions really touched me – it has that overbearing, well, melancholy all the way through. It definitely gets points for touching me on an emotional level.
Episodes 12 and 14 still give me fucking chills. The God Knows performance never ceases to amaze, and I swear to god I have never listene dto that song without getting that feeling, and I do listen to it frequently. The last episode (yes, in broadcast order you twat) has to be one of the best last episodes ever, probaby resting in my top 5-10.
Getting back to how I relate to Haruhi, it’s especially interesting to look at it from the perspective of the past year. Back when I first watched this show, I’d say that where I was is the same as where Haruhi was when she first ‘created the world’ in sixth grade. I had begun to recognize my place in the world, and everything seemed very bleak and melancholy to me, and it was around then that I first decided to start changing my atitude. At the time, that scene where Haruhi explains her past was most important to me because I saw it as what I was going through.
When I watch the show now, it feels as though I have fully adopted Haruhi’s persona. I’m energetic, spastic, always dragging people into my ideas, stubborn, self-centered, and don’t understand my emotion well but tend to show them without realizing it. The only thing that seperates me from Haruhi is my wariness of all these aspects of myself, including the most important aspect in that I am actually aware that the entire universe revolves around me and that my wishes are granted by it. However, I wouldn’t be honestly surprised if Haruhi actualy did know about these aspect of herself in some way.
But as for my godliness, I am also like Haruhi in that I have a conflict of emotions toward the world. There are times when I find it boring, dull, and lacking in any reason to go on, and I epress my desire to kill everyone at once. However, there is also a side to me who has great hope for the world and has fun in his life, which might be what’s stopping me from destroying the world like Haruhi has a tendency to do. However, I can’t help but wonder if falling into complete dispair would cause me to eradicate the universe, and I actually know, for a fact, that I have the ability to do just that.
In some ways, I almost feel like I created this show to help me understand myself and help me understand the world even more through the reactions of others toward this show. Oddly enough, the first time I watched this show, I didn’t care for haruhi as a character much, especially favoring Kyon and, of the girls, Yuki (who I still think is the cutest) howevevr now I see Haruhi as one of my favorite characters ever if only because she is the one I identify with the most.
Oh, and the last 10 days of Xmas entry has been cancelled :p