Meet Chris. His sword is unbelievably dull, and he is SO easygoing. While on the way to his class reunion, a rainbow duck teleports his spirit to another realm. On the way through the wormhole to another world, it is remarked that ‘it looks like a man is falling’ to the reply of ‘a young man, isn’t he?’ He arrives in the middle of a war. He is Garzey’s Wing, and he is shining. And even dinosaurs are here.
I learned about Garzey’s Wing from a special ‘buried garbage’ edition of Justin Sevakis’ Buried Treasure column on ANN. The article is well-researched and all that, so it’s best to read it to get the best idea of just what Garzey’s Wing is, why it’s so bad, and it’s plot in general. Best of all, Justin is kind enough to provide a five-minute video of some of the worst clips from the movie. I showed these clips to a good friend of mine, and he found it so funny that the quotes from the clip became common in our jokes.
Garzey’s Wing is embarrassingly easy to find. This is probably because it was a Central Park Media release – you know the guys who kept putting out MD Geist while neglecting the likes of GaoGaiGar. Well, CPM is dead now, so Garzey’s Wing is no longer in print, but if you have any kind of used DVD store near you, you might be able to find it. My local FYE has just about everything, and they had 2 editions of Garzey’s Wing used, one that was six bucks and another that was ten bucks… and had additional special features. No joke. We bought the cheap one, because we felt compelled to.
It was worth every fucking penny. Garzey’s Wing is unintentional comedy more hilarious than the funniest comedian. When you put the disk in, and see the above horrible DVD menu, Chris’ ungodly dub voice cries out an embarrassingly long attack yell that will instantly get the laughs rolling. Then you start the three-episode OVA and are just blown away from start to finish.
First of all, Garzey’s Wing would be horrible even if you didn’t watch it dubbed, which is all the more reason to do so. The dub is so bad it’s fucking awesome. Chris yells every single line he has, and a couple others follow suit. Everyone else is either totally monotone, robotic, or times their speech is irregularly paced. There are even a couple instances where you can tell that they pieced together multiple takes. And forget about synching to the mouths. The best of the best are the couple of characters who tried to create some kind of accent and failed miserably.
But of course, half of the fun of the ungodly dub is that the dialog is so bad to begin with. I mean, fucking none of it makes any goddamn sense from start to finish, but there are so many lines that are just pure gems, starting right from the beginning with girlfriend Rumiko telling Chris “YOU ARE SO EASYGOING!” like it’s a huge condemnation. it’s gem after gem after gem with Chris constantly complaining about the apparently insane dullness of his sword. One of my favorites from early on is when an evil commander asks his informant “How did Garzey’s Wing get there?!” and the guy begins saying, “Yes. Indeed.” Everything in the show is like this.
The best part is that this is a true blue Yoshiyuki Tomino work (did I mention he wrote and directed it? But you know that because the box says ‘FROM THE CREATOR OF GUNDAM’ really huge on it.) The thing moves so fast that it’s like they tried to slam twenty-six episodes into one three-episode OVA. The time between Chris leaving for the party, getting teleported to another world, fighting a major battle, and having the plot explained to him is all about five minutes, and from then on the plot just beats on like a bat out of hell.
And of course, it’s not animated very well. It’s not horrible, but it’s pretty bad, but the visuals are at least pretty intensely paced thanks to the way the plot is. This is probably what keeps it fun to watch – even though it’s so bad, it moves fast enough to keep your attention, and there’s plenty of people dying left and right in ultra-violent ways. Ordinarily this would just be bad, but when you are watching for unintentional hilarity, it comes full circle to working again.
I cannot recommend enough that you purchase Garzey’s Wing and watch it with as many friends as possible, possibly with drinking involved. I had so much fun, I was thinking of doing a Rocky Horror or The Room kind of thing and coming up with stuff to yell at the screen. It’s one of the few bad anime that is definitely worth checking out. I leave you with the wise words of the end of Garzey’s Wing.
“HE’S JUST A HUMAN. HUMANS ARE JUST HUMAN.”
Another awesomely bad anime is Legend of Duo.
Let’s not forget the ultimate LOLTomino anime, Overman King Gainer.
Ghostlightning has a post about LOLTomino with links to others.