Cobra vs. Chu-Bra: An Objective Analysis

(Note: This post is a parody of Baka-Raptor‘s Objective Analysis posts. In his most recent one, a commenter proposed that a Cobra vs. Chu-Bra one be done, and since Baka-Raptor will never watch Chu-Bra, I’ll be doing the post for him, so that his awesomeness does not have to suffer the pain.)


yes, this is the main series image



it's the one that says 'bad motha fucka' on it

Round One: Eyesight

Chu-Bra: Nayu has to wear glasses and still trips over her own feet.

Cobra: Can shoot a mind-controlled bullet through a forest, curving it around trees until he locates an enemy at indeterminate distance and hits them dead-on.

Advantage: Cobra

Round Two: Findable Images


Chu-Bra: Only halfway over and I can already find plenty of images.

Holy shit, an image I haven't used a thousand times!

Cobra: I’ve had to use the same handful of images for every post I’ve ever made on the series, and it only got slightly easier when they came out with a new season of the show.

Advantage: Chu-Bra

Round Three: Main Character

Chu-Bra: Nayu is passionate, never gives up, and loves her craft, but sometimes has to rely on her friends to pull her through.

Cobra: Invincible badass who can fight his way out of any situation, and never lets his friends do his work for him.

Advantage: Cobra

Round Four: Relevance of Title

Space? Adventure? Cobra? Check, check, check!

Cobra: The show is about an adventure through space staring a man named Cobra.

Chu-Bra: Has a lot to do with bras, and ‘chu’ probably has to do with them being middle-schoolers (chuugakusei) thanks 2DT.

Advantage: Tie

Round Five: Pedophilia

Chu-Bra: A show about 12 year-olds and their underwear.

Cobra: All of the women are fully developed and assumed to be above the age of consent (though Cobra does not card them).

Advantage: Chu-Bra

Round Six: Harems

Me and mah space bitches

Cobra: Gets tons of alien pussy, often in large amounts as he saves countless women throughout the galaxy.

She studies her bitches to make sure that shit ain't wack

Chu-Bra: Nayu relentlessly gropes her friends with little consequence and is trying to build an ‘underwear appreciation society’ – AKA, ‘Nayu’s Sex Den.’

Advantage: Tie

Round Seven: Scope

Cobra: A 31-episode journey across space with several OVAs and movies, based on a long-running manga to chronicle the amazing journey.

Chu-Bra: 12 episodes set in one school and the houses of a handful of students.

Advantage: Cobra

Round Eight: Originality

Cobra: The same sci-fi pulp story that was done to death in the 70s and 80s.

Chu-Bra: A show about young women passionately fighting to improve underwear awareness in an oppressive middle-school environment.

Advantage: Chu-Bra

Round Nine: Comedy (Warning NSFW)


Chu-Bra: Some generic gags, often spliced with genuinely hilarious comedy.

Cobra: Lots of cheesy lines and a couple of ‘so-bad-it’s-good’ moments that come naturally to the 80s style.

Advantage: Tie

Round Ten: Villains

Why is he called Crystal B-OH SNAP

Cobra: Crystal Boy.

Chu-Bra: A wanna-be slut and a menopausal bitchy vice-principal, both of whom will probably be won over by the power of friendship.

Advantage: Cobra

Round Eleven: Opening Theme

Chu-Bra: Fairly generic but generally well-produced seiyuu-performed song.


Advantage: Cobra

Round Twelve: Lesbians

Cobra: No lesbians, everyone wants to fuck Cobra.

oh hell yes

Chu-Bra: Heavily hinted that Haruka Shiraishi might be gay for Nayu.

Advantage: Chu-Bra

Round Thirteen: Likelihood of Being Incorrectly Labeled as Slice-of-Life

Cobra: Not a chance in hell.

Chu-Bra: High probability because it takes place in a school and has a mostly-female cast.

Advantage: Cobra

Round Fourteen: Memorability

Cobra: Still cherished by old-fags and new fans alike after over 20 years since it’s original airing; still getting new seasons and OVAs.

Chu-Bra: Will have been completely forgotten a year from now.

Advantage: Cobra

Round Fifteen: Educational Value

Chu-Bra: Contains many important lessons about proper underwear use, taking care of your body, and general life lessons.

Cobra: Not a damn thing.

Advantage: Chu-Bra

Winner: Cobra (7-5-3)

18 thoughts on “Cobra vs. Chu-Bra: An Objective Analysis

  1. Ha, I started reading the post before I read the intro, and I thought it looked familiar.
    Nice parody.

    I’ve seen that breast image before…I didn’t know what it was from though…XD

  2. That was hilarious, good job on taking Baka-Raptor’s chance of ever seeing this.
    Wait, Cobra wins the “Likelihood of Being Incorrectly Labeled as Slice-of-Life” ? from the results Chubacabra should have givven the point, I DEMAND A RECOUNT !!! (not really ;P )

  3. I saw the suggestion of this objective analysis on the golden boy vs candy boy post. I thought to myself these two titles are so far each other that it would never happen. Oh how I was wrong. Lovely parody.

  4. Awesome. It was a funny post, I gained a reader’s perspective on the objective analysis format*, and I don’t have to watch Chu-Bra. The real winner here is me.

    *CCY did two of these in the past, but being CCY, he almost succeeded in making this format tl;dr.

    • Lol. It was an easy decision to make Cobra win. I like Chu-Bra, but Cobra is a classic. Even a classy fanservice show can’t compare. By the way, I was surprised at the work it takes to make this post. Took me almost 2 hours, and it was only 600 or so words, so I commend you for doing a bunch of these.

      Fuck those posts are long!

  5. The “relevance of title” category ought to be tied. It’s not 100% clear because we’ve only got hiragana to work with, but the “chu” in Chu-Bra!! probably refers to the fact that they’re middle school students, or “chugakusei.”

    Other than that, this is pretty solid. Now that I’ve actually seen the talking breast scene, it was actually kind of cute.

  6. Pingback: A New Form of Blogroll, Dedicated to Irreplacable Posts « Fuzakenna!

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