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Watch Texhnolyze on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/show/texhnolyze
Watch Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8mMmZ_Zaqo
Watch the Montana Jones opening theme on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cj_xin1LPsU
Watch Ghost in the Shell 2.0 on Hulu: http://www.hulu.com/watch/371717
Watch Psycho-Pass on Hulu: http://www.hulu.com/psycho-pass
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This is my foot, or what’s left of it anyways. I broke it about 10 days ago at Otakon doing karaoke of all things. (roll clip) Truly this is what it means to be living in the database. After walking on it for days before realizing I should probably go to the hospital, I had it put into a splint, and then later into a giant splint, while I wait to go in for surgery. You would think that since I work from home and never get out of the house unless I’m buying pretzel pub chicken sandwiches, a lack of mobility wouldn’t be that big a deal. You would be wrong.
Not being able to walk on one leg AT ALL fucking SUCKS. I can’t even get to the bathroom without hurting myself, much less get around the house. In one of many efforts to stave off the horrible depression of not being able to do simple shit, I’ve turned to anime to look for scenes and characters that I can relate to in this circumstance.
Number One: Texhnolyze
The main character from Texhnolyze is Ichise, a boxer who was told by the mafia to throw his big match, but ends up killing his opponent and winning the match instead, similar to Butch from Pulp Fiction. Unlike Butch, however, Ichise is caught by the mafia and has his arm and leg chopped off in the first episode. After that he spends two grueling episodes crawling around in the gutters basically dying in the middle of the city where no one gives a fuck about him.
Among the most iconic images from this series of episodes is of Ichise struggling to climb this flight of stairs, just feeling pissed off and hopeless as his energy drains out of him. Personally, my room is at the top of a steep flight of stairs, so every time I want to go up to my room in order to edit one of these videos, or come back down to get something to eat or hang out with my brothers, I have to go up and down these wooden stairs. At least one time I did this while drunk, tired, and out of energy, and nearly passed out right in the middle, just like Ichise. Honestly, if I had to do this with one arm, and without a rail for support, I’d just have someone bring all my shit downstairs for the next twelve weeks.
Number Two: Fullmetal Alchemist
Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist sacrificed an arm and a leg in order to bind his brother’s soul to a suit of armor after trying to resurrect their dead mother. I sacrificed my foot in order to help my brother put on the most energetic performance of the Log Horizon opening possible. Both of these are cases us pure intentions gone horribly awry. You might say that Edward Elric was a lot worse off than I was, having lost two entire limbs, but since Ed’s best friend was an automail expert, he got to replace them with cool metal limbs almost immediately. Meanwhile, I’m stuck hopping around on this thing for three fucking months!
Number Three: Montana Jones
I have no idea what the fuck Montana Jones is. Apparently it’s like a weird, Japanese furry version of Indiana Jones. What I do know is that this thing wrapped around my foot is called a Jones, and it’s about the size of Montana. For you non-Americans wondering what the hell a Montana is, it’s what they used to call the really big sandwiches at Arby’s. For those of you wondering what Arby’s is, it’s why us Americans have to travel around in wheelchairs, even when we HAVEN’T broken a foot.
Number Four: Ghost in the Shell
I may be suffering for it now, but at the time of my injury, I was determined to go as hard as possible. Even after breaking my foot, I kept jumping around and singing like a madman until the performance was done. Similarly, Motoko Kusanagi from Ghost in the Shell will readily push her body beyond the capabilities of her limbs in order to go as hard as possible. Of course she’s a cyborg who feels no pain who can have those limbs replaced instantly, whereas I’m trapped in this cast. Come to think of it, all of the shows I’ve talked about have characters who get robotic limbs within a few days of their injuries. In fact, I can’t think of a single case where a main character loses a limb and doesn’t have it either regrown or replaced in short order. Where the hell is my automail foot?!
Actually, from what I understand, I’m going to have a metal plate and several screws inserted into my 5th metatarsal in order to straighten it out. Just like one of my Japanese animes!
Number Five: Psycho-Pass
In the world of Psycho-Pass, everyone is constantly psychologically monitored to make sure no one loses their fucking mind. As people have less and less stress in their lives, they also find stress harder and harder to deal with, meaning that any time someone is put through a stressful situation, they are advised to seek psychiatric care immediately in order to make sure that they remain totally stable.
After a day or two of immobility, I really started to feel the stress weighing down on me. Realizing just how difficult it is to get around without injuring myself, given that I’m already a clumsy fuck to begin with, and not being able to get up from my chair and move around easily, was incredibly frustrating. Knowing that all the working out I did these last few months will go by the wayside, and that I’ll probably put on weight again, and probably spend a bunch of money on medical bills, and not really being able to shower easily, all of that was a lot of weight to shoulder at once.
So, I started cranking out analysis videos. Not unlike how Tsunemori Akane is miraculously able to keep her emotions under control no matter how bad the circumstances surrounding her get, I’ve found that the best way for me to burn off stress and feel good about myself is just by doing what I love and trying to make progress in my career. Through pumping out videos, I’ve managed to keep myself from losing my head, which has been incredibly valuable. Just as well, you viewers who support me, whether it’s through kind and insightful comments, or through donating to my channel on patreon and paypal, play a big part in helping me to feel good about my life and not worry too much about the big weight on my… foot.
Having said that, surgery is fucking terrifying. Let’s hope this story doesn’t take a turn for the worst!