Some Hard Thinking After Five Years of Anime Blogging

I must’ve come to certain conclusions after doing this for as long as I have.

I’ve wanted to write this post forever—doubly so after ghostlightning did it. Being the extreme person that I am, I wanted to go all-out and make some ridiculous list of attractive anime characters which didn’t skimp on details—but I’ll never actually write it. Plus, doing so many characters washes out the impact of how hot they are.

A surprising (read: fucking huge) amount of deliberation went into picking the hottest female characters. Which girls have I found hot in the past? Do I still find them hot? How hot are they in comparison to my number one choice (the only one I was already sure of)? It actually helps that I’m doing this post after having majorly taken a step back from anime watching, because I can’t go on what I’ve watched recently, nor specific hot scenes that could cloud my judgement. I have to instead consider the character in a sort of void space—in my purest idea of them—and decide how much I want my dick in that.

Anyway here’s the three hottest female characters animated in the past five years.

Queen's Blade Episode One – TIG OL' BIDDIES!

I came into Queen’s Blade with high hopes. People said this was heavy-fansevice, hyper-nonesense shit with lots of big titties. To some, this already means it sucks, while to others, this makes it awesome. What gave me hope was my pal Shiro, known for liking everything, talking about how awesome it was. When he said that, I got my hopes up that this might be a fun little sexist rampage, but it wasn’t. In fact, I could only sit through about 10 minutes of it before the fake subs stopped being funny and I stopped watching.

First of all, this show’s plot and dialog are so bad I understood all of it. This is only possible when every single line of dialog is a 100% bonafied cliche used in every anime, and this was the case. But I didn’t watch this show for dialog and plot, I watched it for chicks with big titties hitting each other with weird shit.

Unfortunately, this was all failure. The titties were fucking hideous. Queen’s Blade is known apparently for it’s use of ‘fake tits’, seeing as the boobs have no droop whatsoever. I personally hate fake tits (or fake anything on a woman really.) This is why I don’t like most American actresses (or Yui Horie.) The tits in Queens Blade were horrendous. They float there like they are in an invisible bra or something. Plus their shittily dawn and only have a semblance of a nipple. The action and everything was poorly animated, too. So no points in either important departments.

The onl thing left is the expensive voice acting. However, when you don’t have a good script or an emotive character, you very quickly get reminded that seiyuu usually have chirpy, horrifying voices that, if equipped on a real girl, would quickly drive you insane. Kugimiya and Hirano just sound like idiots in their roles.

I’d much rather be watching some real hentai or rewatching Kanokon than watching this shit. I’ve seen hentai with better animation, better character designs, and I watch it with the sound off anyway, so the voice acting wouldn’t matter. Dropped.