I Hear Japanese

A lot of anime fans probably don’t grasp this, but they really don’t ‘hear’ Japanese. I was watching subbed anime for a good while before I started to realize that what I had been hearing was actually a voice in my head reading off the dialog. It takes having read a significant amount of subtitles to stop doing this.

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In Which I Acknowledge The Mistakes of My Youth – Queen's Blade Episode One

I think all of us look back on some things we’ve said before and ask ourselves ‘what the fuck was I thinking when I said that?’ This seems to be the case for me when it comes to any of my first impression posts from past seasons, perhaps because I hadn’t found the secret to writing them yet. Something about the Spring 2009 season must have made me hyper-critical, it seems. Was I trying to look cool in front of my then-emerging readership? Was I just in a particularly picky mood then? What was this pretentiousness encroaching on me, that positively DRIPS from most of the posts I made at the time? (see: Saki ep 1 post, fully apologized for here.) I’m not really sure, but I can safely say that after watching the first episode of Queen’s Blade, my ‘impression’ post on it is easily the worst fucking post I’ve ever written in my life.

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December's Forty Fandoms – Part One: Rie Kugimiya + Introduction

Introduction: Last night, during a conversation with Ghostlightning, I found myself unable to really remember everything I blogged about this year or everything I watched, to which he replied that ‘you need help.’ He also pointed out my huge number of posts, though, noting that I had probably written ‘about 200 posts this year.’ He was dead wrong, though, because as of (but not including) this posting I have written 323 posts in 2009. I made a joke about how I ‘could do forty-two posts by the end of the year for a 1:1 post-to-day ratio’, and since jokes about this blog have a startling habit of becoming reality, I decided I really wanted that ratio.

So here’s the deal – it’s too early for my top 100 anime list to be ready, but hey, why should I have to talk about individual works? After all, while I’m a fan of many anime, my top 40 shows hardly coincide with the ‘top 40 things I’m a fan of.’ That’s the purpose of this list – I’ve taken all my fandoms and put them in order of how big of a fan I am to create a top 40. So what you’ll see is directors, shows, franchises, actors, and so forth, placed together in a big list. The only thing you WON’T see is music – the way I think about music is too different from the way I think about other media, so it’s not here. If any of that’s confusing, then just read the posts, and it should all come together.

Because this is a list of fandoms, it can be difficult to talk coherently about, so I’m going to use a format. I’ll talk about 1. The History of My Fandom, 2. The Reasons For My Fandom, 3. The Nature of My Fandom (this will be seen more further down the list.) 4. The Level of My Fandom. So let’s get started!

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Queen's Blade Episode One – TIG OL' BIDDIES!

I came into Queen’s Blade with high hopes. People said this was heavy-fansevice, hyper-nonesense shit with lots of big titties. To some, this already means it sucks, while to others, this makes it awesome. What gave me hope was my pal Shiro, known for liking everything, talking about how awesome it was. When he said that, I got my hopes up that this might be a fun little sexist rampage, but it wasn’t. In fact, I could only sit through about 10 minutes of it before the fake subs stopped being funny and I stopped watching.

First of all, this show’s plot and dialog are so bad I understood all of it. This is only possible when every single line of dialog is a 100% bonafied cliche used in every anime, and this was the case. But I didn’t watch this show for dialog and plot, I watched it for chicks with big titties hitting each other with weird shit.

Unfortunately, this was all failure. The titties were fucking hideous. Queen’s Blade is known apparently for it’s use of ‘fake tits’, seeing as the boobs have no droop whatsoever. I personally hate fake tits (or fake anything on a woman really.) This is why I don’t like most American actresses (or Yui Horie.) The tits in Queens Blade were horrendous. They float there like they are in an invisible bra or something. Plus their shittily dawn and only have a semblance of a nipple. The action and everything was poorly animated, too. So no points in either important departments.

The onl thing left is the expensive voice acting. However, when you don’t have a good script or an emotive character, you very quickly get reminded that seiyuu usually have chirpy, horrifying voices that, if equipped on a real girl, would quickly drive you insane. Kugimiya and Hirano just sound like idiots in their roles.

I’d much rather be watching some real hentai or rewatching Kanokon than watching this shit. I’ve seen hentai with better animation, better character designs, and I watch it with the sound off anyway, so the voice acting wouldn’t matter. Dropped.